We didn't know Sophie had Aspergers until very recently (she's 19 now) so our school battles were different to those of you who have dx at school age, but I thought I'd share our story as it was a huge part of our lives. Hopefully Sophie might give you her side of the story when she reads this (and probably a list of spelling and grammer mistakes I've made [img]
https://2img.net/i/fa/i/smiles/icon_biggrin.png[/img]) :
Sophie never really enjoyed school, like a lot of kids with Asperger's she loved the learning but found it hard to make friends. She would not break the school rules under any curcumstances and got cross when other children did (like talking in class) and when the teacher didn't ridgidly impose these rules. She would also get fustrated in maths when they would cover the same subject week after week when she had mastered it in the first week and wanted to move on.
She became a 'school refuser' we had huge arguements and battles each morning as I attempted to get her to school, I didn't want to give in as I couldn't see an alternative and would drag her there, something which became harder as she got bigger! Each morning was hell for both of us and on the mornings when I couldn't get her there I would have to pay someone to look after her whilst I went to work, which caused me to end up in a lot of debt.
At upper school things really came to a head, the school was extremelly unhelpful, they did refer Sophie to the school youth worker who was very understanding and brilliant with both of us but even she became fustrated at the lack of help from the school. They rufused to send work home for Sophie on the days she could not make it in even though she was still keen to do the work and they would not compromise in any way. Eventually the woman from the LEA became involved and again offered no help or support to us and the implication was firmly that I was a mother who had smothered her child preventing her from becoming independant! Nothing could have been further from the truth - trust me - I desperately wanted Sophie to be more indepenant and had tried all her childhood to promote this. AARRRGGHH I was sooo fustrated, all I wanted was my child to be able to attend school or at least do the work but there was no help with this from the school what so ever.
One evening we had a knock at the door, the chap introduced himself as Bill Coxon and explained the school had been in touch with him about Sophie. I must admit I was suspisious at first but had enough information that could have only come from the school (who hadn't bothered to tell me he would be calling) for me to realise he must be genuine. Thinking he was another truancy officer I let him in with a weary heart. He explained he was from something called NotSchool and asked if we had been told about it or hear of it, which we hadn't.
He went on to explain that NotSchool is home schooling for children who could not attend 'normal' school for whatever reason, illness, exclusion or school phobia (which is what he belived Sophie to have). NotSchool is paid for by the LEA, the money that would normally be paid to the school for Sophie's attendance would go to them instead. They would provide Sophie with a computer, printer, scanner, camera and anything she needed for her work and she would attend an online community school where she could choose each day which projects she would like to do and work towards qualifications. These are not all sat at once like exams at school and they are based on project work. If Sophie still wished to sit her normal exams then this could be arranged too. The approach they take is to be as different as possible to the normal education system which has failed the children who attend. I was worried about Sophie missing out on social interaction but he explained they encourage online socialising and had day courses the children could attend if the subject was of interest to them.
I can honestly say that me and Sophie thought an angel had landed on our doorstep!
Whatever your thoughts on homeschooling and believe me people do have strong opinions! we could not continue as we were and for us this provided the answer. I would love to tell you a story about how the school helped Sophie to fit in, helped us get a diagnosis etc etc but sadly this was not the case and what we were offered was a true lifeline.
Sophie did attend College for a year after finishing school which she enjoyed greatly (she did a music course) but sadly when she signed up for the follow on course the next year she found it not to be what she was expecting and struggled with what was expected of her and dropped out.
Whilst I wish with all my heart Sophie had had an earlier diagnosis and the help and understanding she so desperately needed (from me too, I must add) we muddled through and for any parent struggling to get there child to school each morning I offer my deepest understanding and sympathy.
If you want to learn more about NotSchool then the link is: [url=http://www.inclusiontrust.org/notschool/Home%20Page]
http://www.inclusiontrust.org/notschool/Home%20Page[/url]Sarah